The great debate, are you spoiling your baby? Well, it may not be “The Great Debate”; however, in most homes with a new baby, the debate is on. At times it can be a heated discussion between the parents and other times, it might be between the parents and the grandparents. But, are you really spoiling your baby? Let us take a look.
“Jumping Jack Mom” vs. “Horrible Parent Mom”
There are many people who have sat back and watched as their friends, who were new mommies, jump up every time the baby would make a sound. Then there are some moms who ignore their baby when he or she cries and are viewed as a horrible parent. In the defense of the “Jumping Jack Mom,” you are a new parent and are worried about your child. In the defense of the “Horrible Parent Mom,” you have been programmed to think that being a Jumping Jack Mom is spoiling your baby. So, who is right?
Parent Specialist Advice
Specialists come in many different shapes and colors. By this, we mean grandmothers, friends, cousins, doctors, and anyone else other than the baby’s actual mother. We have all been programmed to do one of two things when the baby cries; one, we check on them and ensure they are all right and soothe them, or two, ignore them because paying too much attention to them could count as spoiling them.
Here is what you should do with that information: crumble it up and throw it away. Yes, that’s right. You are the baby’s parent, whether it is Mommy or Daddy reading this. Remember that the baby is yours. This is important for the next part of this article.
Brother from Another Mother
Although you may see other children getting pampered, that does not mean that that is what is best for your own child. Children do not follow a blueprint when they are born. They have personal preferences, different personalities, and have live varied lifestyles. What works for you and your family may not be the same as the family living next door. Take this into account when you decide your next parenting move. From infancy to teenage years, you are the parent and your parenting style is based on that child and the beliefs of your family.
A Note to “Jumping Jack Mom”
Yes, the safety of your child is important. There is no telling what exactly is going on in that crib unless you take a peak. However, you are not “ignoring” your child by allowing them to cry for a few minutes. Be a ninja and take a peak to ensure that your child is safe, then allow them to cry for just a few minutes. This helps the baby grow strong lungs and learn independence. Then, you can cuddle and kiss them all you want. You are actually being a great mother by allowing them to cry for a little before you run to help them.
A Note to the “Horrible Parent Mom”
First and foremost, you are absolutely not a bad mother. You are trying to do what is best for your child. Keep in mind that the fact that you are even worried about being a bad parent means that you are good one. Bad parents do not care and this thought will never cross their mind. You’re right, you do need to allow your baby to cry at times. This helps them mentally and physically. However, you can absolutely pick up your baby after a few minutes and soothe them. Babies not only need the independence of the cry, but they also need the nurturing of their mother just the same.